Need a good laugh? If you’re into cars, or just appreciate a bit of punny humor, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve compiled a hilarious list of Transmission Jokes that are guaranteed to get your gears grinding with laughter. From manual transmissions to automatics, and everything in between, prepare for some automotive amusement.
Classic Transmission Jokes to Get You Rolling
Jokes about cars and their parts have been around for ages, and transmissions are no exception. These classic jokes are sure to bring a smile to any car enthusiast’s face.
What do you call a dictator who can’t drive a manual transmission?
Stalin
This joke plays on words, substituting “stalling” a manual transmission with the name of the infamous dictator, Stalin. It’s a quick, punny joke that works well for a chuckle.
NASA is getting transmission from their moon mission astronauts:
“Houston, we have a problem. Russians just landed on the moon.”
“It’s OK, continue your mission, ignore the Russians.”
“Houston, we have a problem. Russians started to paint moon red.”
“It’s OK, continue your mission, ignore the Russians.”
“Houston, we have a problem. Hal…”
This joke uses “transmission” in its literal sense of signal transmission, creating humor through a developing absurd scenario on the moon. The punchline is left hanging, implying a darkly humorous or problematic situation involving “Hal,” likely referencing HAL9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey, known for going rogue.
Are You Manual or Automatic? Jokes About Driving
These jokes tap into the differences between manual and automatic transmissions, often playing on stereotypes or driving experiences.
Are you a manual transmission?
Because you sure love to stall!
This is a playful, flirtatious joke comparing someone’s behavior to the action of stalling a manual transmission car. It’s a bit cheesy but lighthearted.
How do you know if a person drives a car with manual transmission?
Don’t worry, they will tell you.
This joke humorously points out the stereotype of manual transmission drivers being vocal and perhaps a little boastful about their driving preference.
What car transmission do Mexicans use?
Manuel.
Another pun-based joke, this one plays on the Spanish name “Manuel” which sounds like “manual” transmission. It’s a simple, wordplay-driven joke.
Mechanic and Car Part Puns
For those who love car puns, these jokes about mechanics and transmissions will really drive the humor home.
I caught a couple of clutches and transmissions today
but could just not catch a brake!
This joke is a classic pun, using car parts (“clutches,” “transmissions,” “brake”) in place of similar-sounding words in a common phrase (“catches and transmissions,” “catch a break”).
I came out to my parents this week, I said I wanted to become a mechanic.
I’ve already started transmissioning…
This joke uses “transmissioning” as a pun on “transitioning,” in the context of coming out to parents, but here it’s about transitioning into a mechanic career. It’s a clever double entendre.
Why couldn’t 1 Ford Focus give the other Ford Focus a message?
Broken transmission.
This is a simple, direct joke where the car part “transmission” is the reason for the communication failure. It’s straightforward and easy to understand.
“Having my owner carjacked was bad enough,” said one car to the other. “But you know what really grinds my gears?”
The idiot didn’t know how to drive a manual transmission!
This joke personifies cars and uses the phrase “grinds my gears,” which is already car-related, and adds the punchline about someone not knowing how to drive manual, amplifying the car’s “frustration.”
My Car Wouldn’t Go In Reverse
My brother tried it and agreed it didn’t work. So we took it to the transmission shop. We went in and I explained the problem. The guy behind the counter was incredulous, but I said, “Ask my brother; he’ll back me up!”
This is a wordplay joke again, using “back me up” in the context of reversing a car and also having someone support your statement.
Car Talk
So a transmission asks an engine, “Yo Engine, hows things with you today?” and the engine replies “Oh you know, just another day in the hood…”
This joke is short and relies on the pun of “hood,” referring to both a car hood and a neighborhood. It’s a quick, slightly edgy joke.
Slightly Racy and Dark Humor Transmission Jokes
Some jokes push the boundaries a bit, venturing into slightly more adult or darker territory.
A guy is driving down the highway when he suddenly has an overwhelming urge to jerk off…
But there are so many cars and trucks driving by, he’s too scared to be seen if he does it in the vehicle. So he gets out of the truck and crawls underneath. He figures if anyone comes along, he’ll just say he’s checking on his transmission. He pulls out his dick, closes his eyes, pictures Betty-Sue…
This joke uses “transmission” as a cover story for a very inappropriate activity. The humor comes from the absurdity and the slightly vulgar scenario.
Trump’s doctor says he is no longer a ‘transmission risk’
Now he is a ‘transmission opportunity’.
This joke is a political jab using “transmission risk” in the context of disease spread, and twists it into “transmission opportunity,” implying a negative or opportunistic take on the political figure.
What do you call it when a soldier has to go undercover dressed as a woman?
A Transmission
This is another pun, playing on “transvestite” and “transmission.” It’s a bit crude but relies on word association.
Keep the Jokes Transmitting!
We hope these transmission jokes have shifted your mood into high gear! Whether you’re a mechanic, a car lover, or just someone who enjoys a good pun, there’s something here to tickle your funny bone. Don’t keep these laughs to yourself – transmit these jokes to your friends and keep the humor rolling!
